The reality of class-life has hit me like a ton of bricks. Especially after a week-long vacation in NYC and New England, wining and dining with family in the city and on the beaches. And especially with so much pressure on this one semester to get grad-school, my career, and everything all sorted out. At this point I have already given up and blogging again. I nearly lost my room keys on the first day, while playing ultimate Frisbee. At least I'm on campus though, and I'm back with a group of people I'm relatively familiar with to start with.
I will say very honestly that this week has begun with a little heavy sense of defeat. I know, what madness is this. But I've just heard rumors of some news from California regarding an old friend of mine, and if true I don't think it will be good for me. I hate any situation having my hands tied when in a place different from where another person or thing that could use my immediate attention. It sucks. I'm going to have to tackle this, but how. Tell me HOW! I will figure something out, but I question the outcome, the method, the motive, everything. Complicated.
Let me try to remember the better days. NYC was great, went out to nice restaurants, saw a show on Broadway. Yale, where my sister is going, was a cool campus. They have a pizza shop in their town that makes delicious New England style clam pizza. It's also where I developed a taste for Amarone, a fine Italian red wine from the Veneto region that comes from grapes dried on straw mats, and that costs about $75 a bottle. After that, we went to Newport, Rhode Island, where we ate lots of seafood, beached, and rode boats everywhere. Rhode Island is very much an Ocean State, if not much bigger than say Singapore even.
But now I'm back here in Houston, sitting in over-air conditioned classrooms listening to old professors drone. And yet so much work, so many expectations, I have a headache...
Life should be a party. What is this.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Pop, War, and Innocence
I originally didn't think anything of Michael Jackson's passing, and was actually pretty annoyed at how much media attention this guy was getting. Especially when the great Robert McNamara, savior of the Cuban Missile Crisis, "whiz kid" of Ford Motor Company's revival during the post-WWII period, and architect of the Vietnam War, died the same week as Jackson, and nobody even cared. I saw only one article on the matter, whereas I saw countless articles that just had the same headline of Jackson's daughter saying what a great daddy he was.
But just today, as I was eating clementines from Kroger at the dinner table, mumbling to myself about what I hate about the world, I realized that Jackson may really have been a heroic figure of some sort, in a similar way to what McNamara was. Both seemed to struggle throughout their years with the concept of innocence. Both sought to define, to protect, or to create innocence. But they failed. Miserably. Jackson surrounded himself with symbols and themes of youth, which he considered the heart and soul of innocence. But instead he was sued for being a pervert, and died young from drugs. Pity. But McNamara did not do much better. He assumed he was protecting the innocent from backwards ideology, brainwashing, even from world destruction. But he merely brought more death, more inhumanity, to the world than he began with, responsible for the deaths of many innocents.
So before you tell me to go take a philosophy class about innocence and what it means to achieve and maintain innocence, I will say, how do you know someone who thinks they can tell me what innocence is, will not actually just rob me of it. Heck, by reading this very blog post, this could be the end of your innocence. Sorry about that. But what use was it to you anyway. Who knows. So that's what makes me wonder, is there any use in trying to be innocent... not that I'm going around killing and stealing, but rather, just toying with the idea and thinking of what should be done with all these people around me who think innocence is a virtue. Ponder that, Mr. Pei.
I've also been thinking about immigration lately. As my friend Jay will gladly tell me, it's really difficult to immigrate to the US. And people like my Dad will gladly tell me how this country is successful because it was built by immigrants who could not exercise their full potentials elsewhere. I myself would like to think that the US is the "light on the hill", which attracts the best and brightest from all over the world to come here and lead successful lives, which the rest of the country can benefit from as well. So should immigration quotas be relaxed or tightened, or kept as they are? As you can probably tell, I say relaxed. Globalization is removing the need for feudal and nationalistic views on the world's identity. We have passed the age of Individuality, of the Personal Potential. We're now in the age of Do-Anything-Anywhere, and Maximized Efficiency of Humanity (MEH...). My old friend Ayn Rand was right, when she called for the praise of human innovation and objective efficiency of manpower. But individuality, I think, cannot be accommodated for in all cases, as not everyone is ideal, and the world right now has people born in all the wrong places and situations, and with no way to get out, save death. It will take great, orchestrated human effort, eased by freedom of movement and migration, to save the world. If the US is the first to really promote that, then it will all begin here. Not that I'm patriotic ;)
Anything else? Updates on my summer, I just came back from Dallas this weekend, to meet my family there. Always fun to take advantage of the weekends to run away and see family. And now I'm sitting in the Maroneal business center, because my apartment has no power. At first we thought a Shamoor was pulled (i.e. someone forgot to pay the bills), but the power company says we should have power. Damn. So I'm sleeping in a non-airconned room in Houston's summer heat tonight. Oh well, I'm sort of used to it. Singapore manned me up. Oh speaking of which, I found a Singaporean restaurant in Houston! I was actually going out to Chinatown to just get some dimsum or something. I tried this place called Hong Kong DimSum. Misleading. Sure enough, they have dimsum, but most of the menu was actually Singaporean dishes. So I'll probably return there every once in a while, to get my fix of SIN :)
And that's all for now that I can recall. Good night!
But just today, as I was eating clementines from Kroger at the dinner table, mumbling to myself about what I hate about the world, I realized that Jackson may really have been a heroic figure of some sort, in a similar way to what McNamara was. Both seemed to struggle throughout their years with the concept of innocence. Both sought to define, to protect, or to create innocence. But they failed. Miserably. Jackson surrounded himself with symbols and themes of youth, which he considered the heart and soul of innocence. But instead he was sued for being a pervert, and died young from drugs. Pity. But McNamara did not do much better. He assumed he was protecting the innocent from backwards ideology, brainwashing, even from world destruction. But he merely brought more death, more inhumanity, to the world than he began with, responsible for the deaths of many innocents.
So before you tell me to go take a philosophy class about innocence and what it means to achieve and maintain innocence, I will say, how do you know someone who thinks they can tell me what innocence is, will not actually just rob me of it. Heck, by reading this very blog post, this could be the end of your innocence. Sorry about that. But what use was it to you anyway. Who knows. So that's what makes me wonder, is there any use in trying to be innocent... not that I'm going around killing and stealing, but rather, just toying with the idea and thinking of what should be done with all these people around me who think innocence is a virtue. Ponder that, Mr. Pei.
I've also been thinking about immigration lately. As my friend Jay will gladly tell me, it's really difficult to immigrate to the US. And people like my Dad will gladly tell me how this country is successful because it was built by immigrants who could not exercise their full potentials elsewhere. I myself would like to think that the US is the "light on the hill", which attracts the best and brightest from all over the world to come here and lead successful lives, which the rest of the country can benefit from as well. So should immigration quotas be relaxed or tightened, or kept as they are? As you can probably tell, I say relaxed. Globalization is removing the need for feudal and nationalistic views on the world's identity. We have passed the age of Individuality, of the Personal Potential. We're now in the age of Do-Anything-Anywhere, and Maximized Efficiency of Humanity (MEH...). My old friend Ayn Rand was right, when she called for the praise of human innovation and objective efficiency of manpower. But individuality, I think, cannot be accommodated for in all cases, as not everyone is ideal, and the world right now has people born in all the wrong places and situations, and with no way to get out, save death. It will take great, orchestrated human effort, eased by freedom of movement and migration, to save the world. If the US is the first to really promote that, then it will all begin here. Not that I'm patriotic ;)
Anything else? Updates on my summer, I just came back from Dallas this weekend, to meet my family there. Always fun to take advantage of the weekends to run away and see family. And now I'm sitting in the Maroneal business center, because my apartment has no power. At first we thought a Shamoor was pulled (i.e. someone forgot to pay the bills), but the power company says we should have power. Damn. So I'm sleeping in a non-airconned room in Houston's summer heat tonight. Oh well, I'm sort of used to it. Singapore manned me up. Oh speaking of which, I found a Singaporean restaurant in Houston! I was actually going out to Chinatown to just get some dimsum or something. I tried this place called Hong Kong DimSum. Misleading. Sure enough, they have dimsum, but most of the menu was actually Singaporean dishes. So I'll probably return there every once in a while, to get my fix of SIN :)
And that's all for now that I can recall. Good night!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
PBC Remains Competitive in a Turbulant Economy
Man, if I could invest stock in Individuals, I would put all my money down on that good fellow Ryan Pei. That kid is driven for success. Since he himself is not a publicly traded entity though, I guess I have no other option but to just sit back and marvel at his accelerating growth.
Lately I've been wondering what it means to be competitive. Some people hate competition, say it makes us too greedy, too narrow-minded. Others love it, say it's a motivator, a road to ultimate personal gratification. Here's my assessment, of how I deal with competition. I will run in the race, head to head with the other competition-lovers, if I think I have a chance of winning. And this is a vast majority of the time. But whenever I'm falling behind, or when I get tired of running, I'll plea for advice and comfort from the disinterested spectators, those who either think they're too good for the race or that it's just not worth it to run. Then when I think I've heard enough of their rambling, I run again. And it cycles like this, I never find myself running forever for the sake of running, nor taking too long of a rest because the non-competitive crowd never comes up with a good reason for me to stop. I figure survival and comfort in life are key, which can only be achieved by maintaining competitiveness, and along the way we just have to take a few moments to think about where we are really going.
But I like competitive people much more than non-competitive. I'm not sure what the draw is. But I think it makes perfect sense to feel attached to someone who thinks life should be a pursuit of happiness rather than a miserable helpless existence. Also tend to be attached to competitive peoples in general. Like the Swiss, Americans, and Singaporeans. I just saw the World Economic Forum's "World's Most Competitive Countries" index, and the 1st place spots in North American, Asia, and Europe were held by the US, Singapore, and Switzerland respectively. All my favorites, how cool is that.
So what happened as of recent? I turned 21, while visiting Fredericksburg and Austin with all my family from Texas. Lots of fun of course, and my first legal alcoholic drink (in the US) was a rather flat kir royale, sort of disappointing. But the food was good. We literally did nothing but eat the whole weekend, my kind of weekend. And I got to take my new 2009 Accord out on its first real road-trip across Texas. Such a smooth ride, I love this car.
And how is work? Meh, it's alright I guess. Getting to know many more people, so that's good. And for once, yesterday I was able to actually HELP someone else with something, rather than having everyone come help me because I'm a clueless intern. So I suppose that signals at least some progress.
Anything else? Nothing urgent, I don't think I'm getting enough sleep though so I'm going to bed after a little Skype and a shower. Good night!
Lately I've been wondering what it means to be competitive. Some people hate competition, say it makes us too greedy, too narrow-minded. Others love it, say it's a motivator, a road to ultimate personal gratification. Here's my assessment, of how I deal with competition. I will run in the race, head to head with the other competition-lovers, if I think I have a chance of winning. And this is a vast majority of the time. But whenever I'm falling behind, or when I get tired of running, I'll plea for advice and comfort from the disinterested spectators, those who either think they're too good for the race or that it's just not worth it to run. Then when I think I've heard enough of their rambling, I run again. And it cycles like this, I never find myself running forever for the sake of running, nor taking too long of a rest because the non-competitive crowd never comes up with a good reason for me to stop. I figure survival and comfort in life are key, which can only be achieved by maintaining competitiveness, and along the way we just have to take a few moments to think about where we are really going.
But I like competitive people much more than non-competitive. I'm not sure what the draw is. But I think it makes perfect sense to feel attached to someone who thinks life should be a pursuit of happiness rather than a miserable helpless existence. Also tend to be attached to competitive peoples in general. Like the Swiss, Americans, and Singaporeans. I just saw the World Economic Forum's "World's Most Competitive Countries" index, and the 1st place spots in North American, Asia, and Europe were held by the US, Singapore, and Switzerland respectively. All my favorites, how cool is that.
So what happened as of recent? I turned 21, while visiting Fredericksburg and Austin with all my family from Texas. Lots of fun of course, and my first legal alcoholic drink (in the US) was a rather flat kir royale, sort of disappointing. But the food was good. We literally did nothing but eat the whole weekend, my kind of weekend. And I got to take my new 2009 Accord out on its first real road-trip across Texas. Such a smooth ride, I love this car.
And how is work? Meh, it's alright I guess. Getting to know many more people, so that's good. And for once, yesterday I was able to actually HELP someone else with something, rather than having everyone come help me because I'm a clueless intern. So I suppose that signals at least some progress.
Anything else? Nothing urgent, I don't think I'm getting enough sleep though so I'm going to bed after a little Skype and a shower. Good night!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Blogging is for losers. Period
What a fine compliment. One that comes from someone who has committed his life to discovering the meaning of life or the origin of the universe, among a few other trivial pursuits. But none as trivial as blogging.
No but really, I feel very complimented. I like it when people are not afraid to possibly offend me, as long as they speak up. So good job Mr. Anonymous, you have earned yourself your own quotation being honored as one of my blog post titles.
Ok, updates for the weeks past. Went to my sister's graduation last weekend, which I was really glad to have skipped work to attend. Her high school did a much better job than mine did. My school's ceremony was too orderly, too disciplined, too centered around the idea that if any one of us fucked up in marching around or saying things at speeches we'd get raped. Whereas my sister's was actually entertaining to watch. Free emotions, free ideas. This is what graduating is about I think. Finally being entitled to say things for yourself. Man I wish I went to Mountain View High. Then again all the cool people went to Los Altos. But enough about me, big congrats to my sister! I know she is going to be very important, worldly-famous person, and I'm glad because she's very cool, and I'm proud to be her brother.
My first two weeks at my new job have been good. I've met some cool kids there, so that's good. I was afraid during my first week that I would be stuck with some particular people I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the first day I got there... won't name any names but, I'm glad I'm not stuck with them now.
This weekend has been relaxing for once, thus why I have time to put up another post. I've been reunited with Pandora, listening to all my favorite stations. I couldn't listen in Singapore because the site is unlicensed outside of the US. I also went to see "Up" in 3D. I was really surprised at what a fantastic movie it was, since I heard little about it before. Why does Pixar never disappoint?
Now the only thing missing from my normalized life is tennis. I've even spammed facebook friends to see who's in Houston available to play, and so far no response... come on, what's up?
Ugh don't give me any sympathy people. Give me a good fight.
Oh snap. India lost to England in cricket. Let me try to console my roommate, before he floods the place with bitter tears of curry.
No but really, I feel very complimented. I like it when people are not afraid to possibly offend me, as long as they speak up. So good job Mr. Anonymous, you have earned yourself your own quotation being honored as one of my blog post titles.
Ok, updates for the weeks past. Went to my sister's graduation last weekend, which I was really glad to have skipped work to attend. Her high school did a much better job than mine did. My school's ceremony was too orderly, too disciplined, too centered around the idea that if any one of us fucked up in marching around or saying things at speeches we'd get raped. Whereas my sister's was actually entertaining to watch. Free emotions, free ideas. This is what graduating is about I think. Finally being entitled to say things for yourself. Man I wish I went to Mountain View High. Then again all the cool people went to Los Altos. But enough about me, big congrats to my sister! I know she is going to be very important, worldly-famous person, and I'm glad because she's very cool, and I'm proud to be her brother.
My first two weeks at my new job have been good. I've met some cool kids there, so that's good. I was afraid during my first week that I would be stuck with some particular people I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the first day I got there... won't name any names but, I'm glad I'm not stuck with them now.
This weekend has been relaxing for once, thus why I have time to put up another post. I've been reunited with Pandora, listening to all my favorite stations. I couldn't listen in Singapore because the site is unlicensed outside of the US. I also went to see "Up" in 3D. I was really surprised at what a fantastic movie it was, since I heard little about it before. Why does Pixar never disappoint?
Now the only thing missing from my normalized life is tennis. I've even spammed facebook friends to see who's in Houston available to play, and so far no response... come on, what's up?
Ugh don't give me any sympathy people. Give me a good fight.
Oh snap. India lost to England in cricket. Let me try to console my roommate, before he floods the place with bitter tears of curry.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
A brutal end to my half-year long vacation
Wake up at 6:30. Get dressed. Eat cereal. Get on the train. Sit down at my cubicle. Look busy on my computer. Leave after 9 hours. Come home exhausted. Rustle up dinner. Shower. Skype a bit. Go to bed. Repeat. It seriously feels like I'm living the life of that animated girl in that song Shaiyan once showed me on YouTube.
Ok I exaggerate. It's actually kind of fun. I would tell a lot of stories about work, but I think I would get into serious trouble if I publicized this kind of information. So see my private blog if you want the real story.
And to keep things interesting for me on the way to and from work, I try to imagine what living in Houston would be like for a foreigner. The way I saw Zurich or Singapore. Because Houston is a pretty boring major city, to tell the truth. But as a foreigner, watching American habits and customs might actually be somewhat entertaining. For one, hearing English and Spanish on the Metro, and having a sort of "honor system" for the fare to get on. Seeing all the different races, especially blacks, since you don't see many of those in Asia and only some places in Europe. The oak trees everywhere. The homeless people lining up outside the church across the street from Lovett. The skyscrapers in downtown, with business people and crazies on the sidewalks. The underground tunnel system. Rice campus. The museum district. The huge portions that you get served at restaurants.
Oh I can also mention the drive to Houston. So I left Los Altos, California at 3am on Thursday. Got to El Paso, Texas at 10:30pm that night. That's 1,152 miles in 19 hours. Dad and I took shifts driving. And unfortunately, while on my shift, I got a speeding ticket going 80 on a 65mph highway in New Mexico. New Mexico is officially now my least favorite state. They should just go back to Old Mexico, completely useless to us. Ugh and I can't wait to be 25, then auto insurance companies won't continue to bleed me for all I'm worth. Woah Ryan, be careful what you wish for. Being older is never a good thing.
The trip after El Paso was fun though. Stopped in Fredericksburg to see the grandparents, who were swell as always to see. Then Aunt Phyllis's new place in Seguin. Get BBQ from Luling. And finally, onward to Houston.
And once I got to Houston, I got my new CAR! And it's a beut. I should put up pictures, dark gray Honda 2009 Accord, the best look for the Accord yet.
Now I have to do some real work. Yes, even now I have homework. I have to write a program, in Java. Hopefully I'll pull through. Asking Quincy a lot of questions though on Skype haha. I should seriously split my wages with him.
Signing off!
Ok I exaggerate. It's actually kind of fun. I would tell a lot of stories about work, but I think I would get into serious trouble if I publicized this kind of information. So see my private blog if you want the real story.
And to keep things interesting for me on the way to and from work, I try to imagine what living in Houston would be like for a foreigner. The way I saw Zurich or Singapore. Because Houston is a pretty boring major city, to tell the truth. But as a foreigner, watching American habits and customs might actually be somewhat entertaining. For one, hearing English and Spanish on the Metro, and having a sort of "honor system" for the fare to get on. Seeing all the different races, especially blacks, since you don't see many of those in Asia and only some places in Europe. The oak trees everywhere. The homeless people lining up outside the church across the street from Lovett. The skyscrapers in downtown, with business people and crazies on the sidewalks. The underground tunnel system. Rice campus. The museum district. The huge portions that you get served at restaurants.
Oh I can also mention the drive to Houston. So I left Los Altos, California at 3am on Thursday. Got to El Paso, Texas at 10:30pm that night. That's 1,152 miles in 19 hours. Dad and I took shifts driving. And unfortunately, while on my shift, I got a speeding ticket going 80 on a 65mph highway in New Mexico. New Mexico is officially now my least favorite state. They should just go back to Old Mexico, completely useless to us. Ugh and I can't wait to be 25, then auto insurance companies won't continue to bleed me for all I'm worth. Woah Ryan, be careful what you wish for. Being older is never a good thing.
The trip after El Paso was fun though. Stopped in Fredericksburg to see the grandparents, who were swell as always to see. Then Aunt Phyllis's new place in Seguin. Get BBQ from Luling. And finally, onward to Houston.
And once I got to Houston, I got my new CAR! And it's a beut. I should put up pictures, dark gray Honda 2009 Accord, the best look for the Accord yet.
Now I have to do some real work. Yes, even now I have homework. I have to write a program, in Java. Hopefully I'll pull through. Asking Quincy a lot of questions though on Skype haha. I should seriously split my wages with him.
Signing off!
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